Peeing in the loo is the new orange

No one told me that toddlers are really proud of their poos, and want to see their poos and their sibling’s poos. And the marks the poo made in their knickers.

“Me made it in me bum!”

Yes, yes you did but can you please deposit it in the loo or potty, and not in your knickers, sweetheart.

A month into potty training (cold turkey method: knickers during the day, & pull-ups only at night & when out on day trips), and we have the pees taking care of themselves. All good on the pee front. Not that it wasn’t a fun ride with wet legs, socks, floors, sofas, rugs, beds, climbing frames, mummy and Crocs. (Crocs incidentally are the best potty training shoe.)

Zoey and Nomi walked very different paths to pull-up freedom (or pee-dom). Both equally excited about the the prospect of knickers but it clicked into place faster with Nomi. Within a week Nomi was getting most of her pees in the loo or potty, and telling us when she needed to pee and stopping playing to go pee by herself. Not that it’s a race but it’s actually helped having Nomi peeing as an example to Zoey. She is our pee-ioneer. One kid happy to sit on the potty meant Zoey would follow suit and try to pee.

Zoey is our reluctant pee-er. The girl has a bladder the size of Wales. After the first few days of wet legs and socks she started to hold it in. She was miserable. I was miserable as she wanted to be held all the time when she was refusing to pee, and this generally ended with her peeing all over me. The best time was the day the plumber was in to move our washer and plumb it in (you can tell how done with pull-ups I was as I started potty training without a washing machine), and she clung to me like a spider monkey. She did her overnight pee at 9:30am all over me and the sofa. She then waited until I was writing a check for the plumber to start peeing on me after needing to go for a good few hours.

The thing about potty training is that it’s like opening Pandora’s box – once you start you can’t go back to how things were. You need to keep going forward, and bring consistent for everyone’s sake.

I got really good at reading Zoey’s body language. Though you don’t need to be Dr. Cal Lightman (still smarting from that cancelation) to read toddler “micro expressions”. Small child doing the pee dance and/or clutching her bum was a dead give away. Many times we’d tell her that if she pee’d she’d feel better etc she had to come to that conclusion all by herself.

And by gum after three weeks it all fell into place. Suddenly she is bounding out of bed to pee first thing in the morning, and telling us when she needs to pee, and peeing in the travel potty in the back of the car when we are out and about.

Potty training is not so much about how to use a potty or loo but learning to listen to your body, and get use to stopping playing to go pee. It just takes time. A lot of time in a safe environment.

Some thoughts:

– All potty training rewards go to the primary care giver. You are the one cleaning up the pee and poo so you need little treats to arrive from Amazon as the weeks progress.
– Keep a sense of humor. There was one morning where the girls poo’d in their knickers five times. Every time I turned my back someone was lurking in a corner or holding onto a door frame to grunt out a poo.
– Despite what the internets say you can totally potty train twins by yourself. Of course you fraking can. Yes, there will be times where everyone is peeing on the floor at the same time but it’s a little bonding experience. Zoey and Nomi are really good at going to get each other new knickers, socks & leggings when needed.
– All my friends with older kids said it would be easier for me to potty train as we’re home most of the week, and they were right. Keeping them in knickers for a whole day rather than chopping and changing between knickers and pull-ups makes it so much easier for them to get it.

I’m hopeful that over the next few weeks they’ll stop pooing in their knickers, and when our stash of pull-ups runs out they’ll be doing day trips in knickers (with the travel potties close at hand).

It’s really not as bad as you think it’s going to be.



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